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Here's my 'Intro Thang' for anyone who is into this introduction stuff. Please feel free to respond to any and all of it or none of it and just say hi. This was not supposed to get as long as it did but I'm a thankless vociferous blowhard. I would like to promise you that a couple things down below might make you laugh. I say I'd like to promise you that, but it depends on what you find funny.
My name is Zach Garland. Online I go by ZachsMind. Unless some other expletive has taken that nomenclature before I get there in which case I go by ZachzMind or some other variant. I'm already boring myself trying to describe myself. Lemme try it this way...
I love Lost.
I've been with it since the Pilot.
I like trying to figure it out.
I'm never right. That's part of the fun.
I am into spoilage and am annoyed by this growing tendency among other Losties to NOT be into spoilage - and on multiple occasions have been made to feel like a pariah. Nonspoiler types direct you to a chat room where you're the only one there. That's friendly. Reminds me of when I used to be a smoker - 'you can't do that here go away.' It bites.
Oh yeah. I used to be a smoker. Actually, I still am but I just don't anymore. So technically I'm an EX-smoker. Have been for a few years now. Yes, I still want to smoke. Every damned day.
I work in a cubicle maze.
I'm a forty year old divorced male in Dallas Texas.
I have no children.
I love to write.
I tell everyone that purple is my favorite color when people ask me what my favorite color is, but recently I've noticed I don't really own very much of any particular color. You'd think if I actually cared about purple more than other colors I'd have like, purple clothes or something. Okay. Bored again. Shifting gears...
Favorite Lost Character: Hurley (Sayid and Desmond are close second)
Favorite Actor on the show: Michael Emerson (Terry OQuinn close second)
Least Favorite Lost Character: Shannon
Favorite Candy: Snickers
Other TV shows I've liked this much: X-Files (first few seasons), STOS, STNG, Quantum Leap, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Strange Luck, MASH, and NBC's Heroes
Favorite Pants to Wear: Jeans
Favorite Burger: Texas Double Cheeseburger from the Wendy's dollar menu
Favorite Pizza: Ham and Pineapple
Favorite Ice Cream: Cookies and Cream
Favorite Fiction Book: HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Favorite NonFiction Book: Failure is Not an Option by Gene Kranz
Clothes I'm Currently Wearing: collared pullover short-sleeve shirt, sweat pants, and black tube socks. Oh, and corrective lenses.
Vision Impairment: near-sighted
Hair: Dark brown with threatening grey incursions
Most Recent Movie Seen: Ratatouille on DVD. I don't go to the theater anymore. (see pet peeve)
Current color of toenails: huh? uhm... toenail colored!
Something I've Never Tried Before That I Want to Try: Standup comedy (preferably using material written for me by actual funny people who don't suck cuz when I tried to write for myself I realized how hard it is to be funny on cue)
Pet Peeve: public cellphone usage in my presence (i don't own one)
Online Games I've Liked: City of Heroes, Kingdom of Loathing, Puzzle Pirates, Ikariam, Twilight Heroes
Opinions about...
The series in general: The acting talent is some of the best to hit prime time television in a very long time. The producers are obviously very careful to pick talents with a chemistry that works well both on and off camera. There's an infectious energy to the performances that I believe is what really brings people back for more. The overall plot arc is also marvelously intriguing with a lot of material for puzzle loving minds to ponder over in between episodes. Most of the time the writing is high caliber and on the mark. Even when Lost is bad, it's still good, and any dissection seems like nitpicking. I love dissection of television, so it's great to find shows that can weather such treatment and withstand it. This is sure a far cry from Charles In Charge you can be sure of that. Still, when I do nitpick, I try not to hold back. I go easy on the actors because when things go sour it is very rarely their fault. They take what they've been given and do the best - and for example in Quinn's case with season four, the actor takes lemons and makes a nine course gourmet meal. I often fault the writers and producers when I feel the show has not met the expectations of the audience. Or at the very least, me.
Hurley: If this series didn't have him, not sure if I woulda stayed tuned in. When the show drifts too much into Desperate Housewives territory with the love triangles, or drifts too much into taking itself too seriously, Hurley can be counted on to bring things to a level that I can appreciate, and doesn't make me wanna change the channel. Jorge Garcia brings to the show a perspective and a sense of humor that it desperately needs. Without him, it woulda been just a soap opera with occasional conspiracy weirdness. If there's any one character on the show I'd most wanna have a beer with, it's this guy.
Jack: don't hate him don't love him but really don't wanna know more about him. Hypocrite. Bad bedside manner for a doctor. If they killed him off, I wouldn't have a problem with it. In fact I'm almost disappointed that he's gonna make it off the Island, but not quite.
Kate: Cute. Flighty. Annoying. Could not care less about her sex life. She shoulda stayed with Kevin. Aside from that, meh. Something maybe I shoulda mentioned earlier. I'm NOT a shipper. I like the occasional romantic stuff, but I prefer it as spice, and not the meat and potatoes of an episode. I find it ironic that it don't look like Kate ends up with either Sawyer or Jack. She seems centered when she gets Aaron. That makes the most sense and I hope it stays like that. In fact most people dissed Eggtown, but I found it to be the first time in awhile that Kate seemed remotely interesting.
Desmond: can't recall an scene he's been in I didn't like. The actor's got an intensity and an energy that's kinetic. The character is wild and passionate and unpredictable and just lotsa lotsa fun. IF i were to be a shipper? I'm a Desmenelope Shipper. If the show doesn't end with the two of them finally getting together, I may have to become Carlton Cuse's waiter at a restaurant so when nobody's looking I can touch his eggs. I won't wash my hands first either.
Sawyer: Funny. I like him when he's funny. Don't like him when he's conning. I lose interest when he tries to make people hate him. Not a good character choice for the writers to make. I know I know that's who he is, but for me he's become more interesting since he killed Anthony Cooper. He's like Inigo Montoya at the end of Princess Bride: what now? What does a man of vengeance do when he gets his revenge? That makes him VERY interesting right now, cuz the answer is nothing. Metaphorically speaking, it's like he doesn't know what to do with his hands. I also can't tell if he's planning to con Hurley, or if he's sincerely developing a real friendship with someone for the first time in his life. Very fascinating.
Michael: He's a fascinating dynamic character. Grew tired of his calling out for his son. Great to see he's back. He's at his best when he's not obsessing about his son.
Sayid: His flashbacks are kinda touch and go with me but his time on the Island has been some of the most fascinating stuff. He's guaranteed action and intrigue. If one character could have a spinoff from Lost, I'd like it to be Sayid. I know I'd watch.
Locke: Was awesome in season one, intriguing in season two, creepy in season three and downright stupid in season four. O'Quinn's just amazing to watch tho. Great actor. Huge talent. The role is challenging and he meets the challenge head on without flinching. He deserved the Emmy, but the writers need to seriously have an intervention about where they're taking the character. This "born again zealot" tactic has worn thin and I'm not buyin' it.
Boone: very okay. Didn't lose any sleep over his death, but he brought an interesting chemistry to the first season that was refreshing.
Shannon: Spoiled brat. Uninterestingly one dimensional character. Toward the end there when she started seeing Sayid and Walt was creeping her out in the jungle it was like watching a half submerged flotation device getting inflated. Or worse, it was like watching a dying fish flipping about on a boat. Too little too late. Whichever writer came up with the idea of including Shannon in the show, should be subjected to waterboarding. From her piercing scream at the beginning to the merciful gunshot at the end, I could find nothing redeemable about Shannon or the performance by the actress who portrayed her. I had a beer when she died. I've already said more than this topic deserves.
Ana Lucia: Rodriguez is a beautiful and talented woman. The character she portrayed was poorly designed and executed. Her flashbacks were forced, unbelievable tripe. The way they made her Christian's makeshift bodyguard in Australia was at best hokey and at worst blatant plot exposition. The writers had to tell us Christian's back story but couldn't use Christian cuz they want us to think he's already dead - so they invent Ana Lucia. I had a beer when she died, too.
Charlie: Dominic's a great character actor. The character was well written and had multiple layers. Lotsa fun to watch the arc from the airplane bathroom to the comm room. Sad to see him go but what a great heroic send off for one of the more poignant characters of the series.
Rose and Bernard: Adorable. There could never be enough Rose and Bernard. I love how they pined for one another for a month and then when they get back together they start fighting. Reminds me of my parents. They bring a level of sincerity and wholesome heart to the cast that really helps make the show believable and real.
Jin and Sun: A daring and necessary mix to the show. Again there's a level of believability that they bring which would be noticeably absent without, but I gotta say the subtitles are getting a little annoying four seasons in. Both actors are worth the effort. I think DDK's best performance was in the mobisodes - he's a phenomenal comedic talent and that's not utilized enough in the series tho occasionally you see it.
Libby: written out too soon. Bad writing choice. They killed her off just when she started getting interesting.
Mr. Eko: Very cool. Very creepy. Very everything. They wrote him off too soon.
Ben: Michael Emerson's an amazingly talented individual and never ceases to amaze. I think his worst performance so far was when Ben said to Juliet "You're mine!" it sounded hollow and fake and the delivery seemed off, but it's Michael Emerson. Even when he's bad he's still amazing. I don't like the character of Ben any more than anyone liked the character J. R. Ewing in the tv series Dallas. He's the guy you love to hate, and Emerson brings to that role an insincerity that is complicitly sincere. He's a master mind genius sociopath who's also a father and a neighbor and a well-meaning person. I haven't been this creeped out since Anthony Perkins' Norman Bates. Emerson should be given a house that is made out of Emmys.
Juliet: Meh.
Tom: Heh.
Nikki and Paulo: This one's complicated. When they were on the show, I hated them, cuz they weren't what they were. What we needed there were actual Losties who'd been with the show since Day One. We didn't need to be convinced they were just off camera since Day One, cuz we'd seen the faces of those who were mostly off camera, and we've been chompin' at the bit to learn more about THEM. This was a perfect opportunity for the producers to take a couple of the extras who'd been hanging around in the background and bring them in the foreground: let us know about the faces we'd seen that didn't have names. The introduction of Nikki and Paulo was essentially the producers telling us, "you're never gonna learn anything about the Sexy Blue Striped Shirt Girl, and we could care less if we mixed up Steve and Scott, but here's what our marketing analysts told us you'd buy for a dollar." For whatever union reasons or legal reasons or maybe talent reasons they couldn't take two of the faces we're familiar with and flesh out characters and do with them what they ultimately did with Nikki and Paulo - and why the heck not? I felt like a four year old whose Dad was trying to convince him the woman he just married has always been his Mom and what's wrong with you? With that said, I feel the two actors they got to do Nikki and Paulo did a fantastic job given what they were given, and Expose is a funny episode with a lot of neat twists to it. It's far from my favorite episode but Arzt is in it - that alone puts it in the top twenty at least. So I'm torn. I know Nikki and Paulo have sorta become the Jar Jar Binks of Lost, but I think we the fans of Lost have sold them short.
Naomi: The actress brought a lot of heart to the role, and made every second on camera interesting to watch. The writers wrote her as a required plot device not unlike an Anton Chekov gun. Watching Marsha Thomason suffer through that was like seeing a world reknowned chef make a PB&J. I love PB&J, and I bet a world chef making me PB&J would be awesome, but what a waste of great talent. Thomason brought her 'A' game, and the writers fumbled the ball. Darn shame.
Minkowski: Ditto what I said about Naomi. It's THE FISHER STEVENS for cryin' out loud! You don't hire Lassie and then serve her table scraps! I mean really! Come on!
Daniel Faraday: Yeah buddy! The actor's a treat. The dialogue's fun. the layers are multiple. He's the one to watch.
Miles: My personal favorite of the Frieghties cuz he's such a loose cannon and an unpredictable wildcard. Ken Leung's comic timing is set to Greenwich. He can also bring on the creepy intensity when it's needed. Love watching that guy chew on scenery. Nonstop fun.
Charlotte: Gorgeous actress. The character is a little too much like Shannon for my taste (spoiled. whiny. false bravado). She's at her best when she's with Daniel. Jeremy Davies seems to help Rebecca Mader step up the focus and intensity. There's a nice chemistry between them from an acting standpoint.
Frank: The jury's still out. Sometimes I like him sometimes I don't and sometimes I'm like why did the writers just put that in his mouth? Spit it out.
Ray the ship's doctor: A poor man's John Malkovich. That's both a good thing and a bad thing.
Gault: Not impressed. The actor's too much of a pretty boy. I don't buy that he's spent his career out on the sea. Fisher Stevens woulda done it better. Is he supposed to be intimidating? I'm not intimidated. Is he supposed to be mysterious or inspiring or something? Anything? Cuz all I'm getting from him is 'where's the photo shoot for clothes that are on sale at Target?' When he dies, I'm gonna have a beer.
Aaron: the football.
There. That was a few slices of brain. Now you're all caught up. So. Hi!
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